


What Everyone Knew

by mylittlecthulhu (marineko)



Category: Arashi (Band), Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: AU, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-01
Updated: 2010-05-01
Packaged: 2017-10-23 00:44:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/244387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marineko/pseuds/mylittlecthulhu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone thought that they had it figured out, that their group dynamics were set in stone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Everyone Knew

**Author's Note:**

  * For [all4cyanide](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=all4cyanide).



> Inspired by "Knock, Knock" by Lenka

_When life had locked me out I turn to you  
And you open the door  
And you're all I need right now, it's true  
Nothin' works like you_  
\- "Knock, Knock" by Lenka [[lyrics](http://www.metrolyrics.com/knock-knock-lyrics-lenka.html)]

  
Everyone thought that they had it figured out, that their group dynamics were set in stone. Nino and Ohno were inseparable, while Aiba kept fluctuating between Jun and Sho. Sho and Jun were the reliable ones, Ohno and Sho were the ones the others listened to, and Nino and Aiba together meant chaos, every time. Everyone knew that much about them. Everyone, from the store managers to their supervisors (who knew enough to keep Nino and Aiba in separate shifts,  _always_ ) to their regular customers at Arashi Records, knew the five best friends inside and out. After all, they have known each other since childhood, and had grown up together in the same town, and were now even working at the same place.

In Nino’s experience, it is what ‘everyone’ knew that was usually wrong. After all, he thought, as he leaned against the back of the sofa, tilting a little too closely to an irate Sho, Sho was so much more  _fun_  to tease than Ohno.

“What are you doing here?” Sho asked. “Your shift doesn’t start until noon.”

“You’re on the same shift,” Nino reminded Sho.

Sho didn’t answer, but Nino delighted in the cute way Sho’s forehead crinkled in a frown. He knew that Sho’s school was nearby, and he had morning class that day, and that it wouldn’t make much sense to take the 20-minute train ride back home just to come back to work in the afternoon. He knew that Sho would be at work early, and would be working on his assignments in the staff room – or at least, attempt to work on his assignments. He knew, because he had checked Sho’s class schedule, and he had checked Sho’s work schedule after that. 

“Well, if you’re here early, and have nothing else to do, punch in early and do some overtime work or something. I’m reading up materials for my paper, here.”

“Okay,” Nino answered, in a suspiciously servile tone that made Sho instantly wary. He continued as he made to get up from the sofa, “Aiba-chan’s in morning shift today, so I guess I could go in and cheer him up a bit!”

“On second thought,” Sho said, pulling Nino back down to sit next to him, “it’s probably better if you just stayed here until our shift starts. Don’t want you to get too tired later.”

Nino rubbed at his arms as if it had hurt, but when Sho was about to ask him about it - _did I hurt you?_  - the other boy just hummed happily as he settled back in, almost-but-not-quite snuggling against Sho, who held out the photocopied essays in his hands as if they could shield him against Nino’s non-too-subtle overtures. If anyone had walked in and asked, he would say it was just Nino being Nino.

But no one came, and after awhile Sho forgot about holding Nino at arms length, and was reading the interesting parts of his research out loud to a Nino who was trying hard to pretend to be interested. When it was time for them to get ready for their shift, Sho was surprised at the disappointment he felt as Nino pulled away. 

})i({

Everyone knew that Nino was a brat. He could do anything to anyone and they would just roll their eyes and sigh and say, “oh, he’s just being Nino.” Jun even called him ‘the brat’ instead of his name, most of the time. 

Sometimes Nino wanted to tell them differently, or show that he was more than what everyone thought he was, but he didn’t think that anyone really wanted to know that. People preferred the simplified explanations, after all. No one really wanted to know the truth, most of the time. 

He wore scarves and mufflers and casual jackets because he was fashionable. It had nothing to do with the bruises on his arms from when his stepfather grabbed him, or the fingerprints on his throat from when the bastard almost strangled him, just because he came back late one day, or forgot to stock up the fridge with beer, or any of the things that made his stepfather mad. He made light, sarcastic remarks because he was funny and had a little streak of mean in him. It had nothing to do with the fact that he was trying to deflect any conversation that came too close to his private life. He never paid for anything and took on as much overtime work as he could because he was stingy. It had nothing to do with the fact that his stepfather took all of the money he made.

Ohno was a little more perceptive than anyone else, but his quiet concern only made Nino uncomfortable. So Nino distracted him, and everyone else, with the hugs and the ass-grabbing and the pokes. Ohno let him, because Ohno could sense the secrets he was keeping from his friends. It mortified Nino that Ohno knew, but as long as Ohno didn’t try to talk to him about it, Nino was content in pretending that Ohno didn’t know, while Ohno pretended that Nino didn’t know he knew.

Jun was a little more complicated. Nino knew that Jun cared for him, and for their group of friends, more than he would admit. He knew that it would break Jun, if he knew what went on in Nino’s home. So he worked harder at avoiding the subject, of deflecting any personal questions. And if that didn’t work, he could always throw Aiba in Jun’s direction. Nothing distracted Jun more than Aiba.

Aiba was Nino’s best friend, officially, but Nino had to admit that the boy was dense. He hadn’t had to cover up much with Aiba. If Aiba had seen any of Nino’s bruises or scars, all Nino would have to do was to come up with any lame excuse, and his best friend would believe him.  _I walked into a door. I fell down the stairs, again. Can you believe it?_  Aiba could, and would. Nino loved Aiba for that, though, because it meant that less questions were asked. And Aiba always made him laugh.

Sho, though… Nino didn’t know what to think of the only one in their group that had made it into college. Sho was always so focused, so determined, to the point where he loses sight of everything else. Sometimes Sho would look at him in a way that made Nino felt like he was being burned from the inside out, and he would think,  _Sho knew_ , but then the moment would pass and Sho would say something so incredibly _stupid_  that Nino would be too dumbfounded to even formulate a snarky response.

Perhaps it was that knowing-and-yet-not-knowing aspect of Sho that made Nino want to tell Sho most of all. 

})i({

Everyone knew that out of the five friends, Sho was the smart one. After all, he was the only one who made it into college. Of course, no one took into account the fact that Ohno was in art school, Aiba was uninterested, and neither Jun nor Nino could afford college. It had already been decided since they were young that Sho was the smart one, not because he was actually smarter than his friends, but because he came from a more prestigious family background than them. He didn’t take any notice of it, and neither did his friends, because among themselves, they knew that ‘privileged’ and ‘smart’ were not synonymous. 

Still, Sho felt slightly burdened by the label he had been pinned with, and took his studies seriously because of it. Nino and Aiba would tease him about it, saying that he was turning into too much of an egghead to be their friend. Sometimes he would try to convince Nino or Jun to go to night school, because surely their pay from Arashi Records could afford at least that much, but Jun claimed that he didn’t need a piece of paper to prove he was educated (Sho had to admit that Jun was more well-read than he was) while Nino would just give him a small smile, before delivering a stinging remark that was calculated to shut Sho up. And Sho wouldn’t say anything about it again, for days, weeks, sometimes months. But he worried. Surely Nino wasn’t planning to work in a record store for the rest of his life?

A loud rap on his door snapped Sho out of his thoughts. He looked at his alarm clock, and saw that it was almost midnight.  _Nino_ , he thought. Who else would it be?

The first time it happened was during his third week in college. Nino had woken him up in the middle of the night, demanding that they go out drinking. Sho had been pulling an all-nighter the previous day, but he went anyway, sensing that Nino was troubled. He had thought that Nino wanted to talk about it, but all Nino did was drink a lot, laugh at all of Sho’s college stories, and let Sho pay for him. That night, Sho had let Nino stay over in his room, even though the dorm rules said that they weren’t allowed to have guests over. 

Nino’s visits became more frequent after that. Some of the nights were just like the first. On other nights, Nino would be uncharacteristically quiet and pensive, and wouldn’t say anything at all. On those nights they would stay in instead of going out, and watch movies all night. Nino’s taste in movies surprised Sho; he had thought that his friend preferred action films or slow, artsy films, because those were the films Nino always talked about with Ohno and Aiba. But during their movie nights in, Nino would choose happy family movies, the kind that he would usually make fun of. Nino always cried at the overly sentimental scenes, but he pretended that he didn’t, and Sho pretended that he hadn’t seen the other boy wipe his tears away discreetly. Sho never said anything about it afterwards, and they never talked about it (or any of their night time hang outs) in the daytime. 

Sho opened the door, wondering which Nino he was opening the door to this time. The Nino desperate to get drunk and happy, or the Nino too numb to do anything other than sit in the corner of the room and watch a movie? Sho wondered which Nino he would rather see, wrestling with his answers. Either. Both. Neither. He didn’t know.

“What is it this time, Kazu –” he had wanted to sound annoyed, even though he wasn’t, because surely Nino needed to learn not to bother people  _in the middle of the night_ , even though he didn’t mind at all. But the sight of Nino stopped him short. Nino wasn’t grinning at him toothily, insisting that they go out. Nino wasn’t looking at him blankly and emotionlessly. He wasn’t even wearing the bratty smirk that he usually sported in the day. 

This Nino looked pale, wide-eyed, shaken. In fact, if Sho wanted to say that Nino was the person that everyone knew he was – the ever scheming, cunning, mischievous brat – then he would have to say that this was not Nino at all. “What’s wrong?” he asked, but even as the words left his mouth he knew that he wasn’t going to get any answer. If there was one thing that Nino was good at, it was keeping secrets, especially his own.

So Sho just let Nino in, closed the doors, and stood in front of it awkwardly, unsure of what to do. He just stared at Nino, who seemed to be holding an internal struggle, as if trying to decide what to tell Sho, and how much. In the end, Sho stepped towards Nino, trying not to question the way the sudden movement made Nino jerk a little, as if in fear, and pulled Nino into a hug. “It’s okay,” Sho murmured. “Don’t tell me if you don’t want to.”

It surprised him, how slight Nino felt in his arms. How vulnerable Nino seemed. Of course, he knew that Nino was anything but. That night, though, as Nino was trembling from trying to hold in his tears and not quite succeeding, Sho realised that even Nino can’t pretend to be tough all the time.

})i({

Everyone knew that Sho was proud. It couldn’t be helped, people supposed, since everyone always expected a lot from him. He was never allowed to make mistakes, and because of that, he started to pay attention to his appearance in public, and acted according to others’ expectations. But Nino had seen Aiba bully Sho into doing things, and he had seen the way Sho would respond meekly when chastised by Jun, so perhaps Sho wasn’t as proud as people thought he was, after all. 

Sho would disagree, if Nino voiced his opinions out loud. Sho thought that it was pride that made him keep Nino’s nightly visits a secret from the rest of their friends. The fact that Nino would only show that side of him to Sho was something Sho wanted to keep to himself.  _I’m special_ , he thought.  _That’s why he came to me, out of the five of us._  So even though he worried, and even though he wondered sometimes if he should push Nino to tell him what was really going on, he kept quiet. Because he liked that Nino would only come to him.

That night, though, things were different. Sho had never seen Nino so distraught. Nino didn’t even notice as Sho steered him into the room, and slowly took off Nino’s mufflers and his jacket to hang. Nino was wearing a sleeveless shirt underneath, and Sho could see what had been hidden there all along. 

“How long has this been going on?”

He knew that he sounded angry, and that he should try to calm down, but he couldn’t help himself. He was angry at Nino, for not telling him earlier. He was angry at himself for not asking enough questions when he probably should have. He was angry at whoever it was that had been hurting Nino.

Nino flinched slightly at his tone, but didn’t reply. “It’s none of your business,” Nino said belligerently.

“You’ve been coming here off and on for almost a year now. That makes it my business,” Sho insisted. It was no good, he thought. There was still rage in his voice. And there was his stupid pride again, that feeling that it was an insult, that Nino hadn’t regarded him as someone he could tell these things to. 

Nino’s head snapped up, and he shot a cool look at Sho. “I came here,” he said with a slight sneer, “because I know you’re too wrapped up in yourself and your petty little problems to see what else is going on around you. All you talk about when we go drinking were your classes and your oh-so-funny and smart friends from college and your worries about not passing this exam or not getting into that class. Do you seriously think you could handle any real problems?  _Do you?_  If I had wanted to  _tell someone_ , I would have gone to Aiba.”

Sho saw red. He could feel the quick anger building up within him, and only managed to check himself when he saw the brief panic in Nino’s eyes. He realised that he had raised his hands to reach for Nino, and he lowered them immediately.

“Go to Aiba, then,” he said dully. “I have an early class tomorrow, anyway. I can’t deal with this shit.”

Nino had closed the door gently as he left, but to Sho it had sounded like a loud, resounding bang.

})i({

Everybody knew that Aiba always meant well. That was why no one could ever hate him. But Nino hesitated to ring on his best friend’s doorbell. When Aiba opened the door, all sunshine and smiles, despite the late hour, Nino realised why. He knew that there must be more to Aiba than this, but he didn’t know if he wanted to know. If Aiba knew about him, would Aiba still be able to laugh so casually with him? Would Aiba still make the same jokes, and react the same way to Nino’s biting remarks? 

“Nino. What is it? You want to hang out for a bit? Jun and I were just going to put on a DVD, do you want to join us?”

Nino smiled. Trust Aiba not to notice his dishevelled appearance, or the redness of his eyes. “Sorry for interrupting you,” he said.

“Not at all! The more, the merrier, right, Jun?” Aiba called out to Jun, who gave a reassuring shout back from inside.

“Actually, I was wondering if I could stay here for the night?” 

Aiba looked at Nino thoughtfully, the smile still plastered on his face, but his gaze turning serious. “Sure, Nino. Anything for you.” He paused. “Can you wait here, first? Let me talk to Jun.”

Nino didn’t know what Aiba said to Jun, but soon Jun was making excuses about forgetting that he was supposed to be somewhere else, and was leaving Aiba’s place. Nino felt guilty, knowing that both Aiba and Jun had the next day off, and that they probably had plans that didn’t include Nino. “I’m really sorry,” he said again to Aiba, who waved his words away dismissingly.

“Don’t worry about it. With Jun gone, we get to have a proper best friend bonding time! Isn’t that great? We haven’t done anything like that since junior high, I think.”

Nino’s mother remarried in the second year of junior high. Nino hadn’t stayed over at Aiba’s since, or asked Aiba over. “I’m sorry,” he said again.

Aiba gave him a strange look. “I wasn’t accusing you of anything, you know. I’ve been busy with other things, too.”

After a long, awkward pause, Aiba decided that the thing to do was to go out. He said something about Nino having to do something about the way he looked, and pushed Nino towards the living room while he drew a bath for Nino. “Nice, warm baths always made me feel good,” Aiba said cheerily, “and you need to feel good, because we’re going out tonight!”

Nino sighed, and decided to go with the flow. There wasn’t much else one could do with Aiba, after all. He didn’t mention to his friend that a bath wasn’t the kind of thing that he needed at the moment. He didn’t particularly want to spend the rest of the night belting out old tunes at a karaoke bar, either, but Aiba insisted, and he didn’t want to hurt Aiba’s feelings. He had to admit that he missed Aiba’s company, and the laughter they shared, out of work. But it still didn’t help him.

It was still Sho that he wanted to see.

As dawn was approaching, and the two of them walked back towards Aiba’s place, Aiba’s hands reached out for his. “Are you feeling better?” Aiba asked.

Nino looked at Aiba questioningly. “What made you think that I wasn’t feeling well?”

Aiba rolled his eyes. “I’m your best friend, Nino.” As if that explained everything. “How come you didn’t go to Sho’s?”

“I – ” Nino felt like something was stuck in his throat. “How’d you – did he…”

“You had a fight with him, huh,” Aiba said, and nodded understandingly. Nino stared at his best friend, wide eyed. He wondered if an alien had come to replace Aiba when he wasn’t looking. “Sho really cares about you, you know, even if he doesn’t know how to show it. He thinks no one knows, and I dunno, maybe he pretends to be irritated even, but I think he’s really happy that you bug him all the time, because he rationalises that it must mean that you care, too. Of course, he doesn’t realise that he’s just the most convenient, right?”

Nino had stopped walking. He couldn’t even think of anything to say, which was almost a first for him. “I  _do_  care for him,” he finally managed to croak out, and he coughed. 

Aiba beamed at him, and Nino thought he could see a satisfied gleam in his eyes. “Got you to admit it!” Aiba said. “Sho’s in the noon shift tomorrow, too, isn’t he? And he’s got a class at 10 a.m., so I think you have more than enough time to find him and make up.”

Nino was still blinking at Aiba disbelievingly, so Aiba let go of Nino’s hands, and gave Nino a gentle nudge. “ _Go_ ,” Aiba said. “Jun’s coming back to cook breakfast for me this morning, and you’re not welcome to join us.”

Everyone knew that Aiba was the least perceptive one of the five friends. Everyone was wrong.

})i({

Sho wouldn’t answer the door. Nino tried the handle, but it was locked. At first Nino thought that Sho was just mad at him, and wanted him to wait. But after knocking a few times, and getting no answer, his knocks started to grow more persistent, more desperate. “Sho,  _please_  open the door,” he said. “I’m sorry.” 

A few more seconds went by, then minutes. After awhile, Nino started to give up, and crumpled onto the floor of the corridor. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to go home. He didn’t want to go back to Aiba’s. 

“Kazu-chan?” Sho rarely called him by the childhood nickname nowadays, knowing that it reminded him too much of happier times. 

Nino looked up. Sho was standing over him, a bag of groceries in his arms, a frown on his face. “I thought you went to Aiba’s.”

Sho was startled when Nino stood up and embraced him, and buried his face in the crook of Sho’s neck. Sho let the bag in his hands fall to the floor, and returned the embrace without thinking. “I’m sorry,” Nino murmured, his voice muffled against Sho, his breath tingling against Sho’s skin, causing him to shiver. “I don’t know why I said all the things I did.”

“I shouldn’t have pushed you. Or I should’ve pushed you earlier. I don’t know.” Sho felt gratified when Nino let out a small laugh. “Why aren’t you at Aiba’s?”  _Did he send Nino away? If he did, I’ll -_

“I went, but he just made me realise that it’s you that I need.”

Everyone knew that Nino was the manipulative and calculating one, but Sho knew Nino was more dangerous to his heart when he was at his most honest.


End file.
